The funny thing is I made myself lonely. I like my own company but sometimes I crave the attention of others. I can reach out to someone, talk, or something. But I don't want to be bothered with the effort of socializing. Of thinking what to say right, how to avoid saying something wrong, or to consider other's feeling, letting them in. I have to ignore my social anxiety, my HSP nature to get someone to talk to me. I long for easy company, but it has to be earned, and couldn't afford that I guess.
I don't know what I want, and that's actually not a surprise.
