Nostalgia

There's a reason why you feel like crying everytime you hear an old song playing on your playlist. Maybe it's because you can't handle the rush of feelings, the memories, the dreams, the innocence. And then you look around you. You notice your failure everywhere. You feel that you've let your past-self down by being you are now. You desperately want to go back and change it all. You look at both of your hands. The pair that were unable to help you reach your dream. Disappointed, you put them on your eyes, blocking your sight. See no more. Just listen, and weep.

torchwood fic rec bottom!ianto

I've been a fan of this fandom for long. On and off. And I've been told that most of the fics are bottom!ianto, hence the lack of tags, recs or communities that are specializing in bottom!ianto. But from what I found, almost ninety percent fics i've read are switch, if not full with Ianto being the top. I am not being hateful. I still read those great fics. Maybe I am just an old-fashioned woman who like Ianto as the uke and bottom. Reading a good fic, and getting stumbled upon something that is not my cup of tea, it lessens the level of enjoyment. So i'd like to be warned. I'd like to be able to enjoy a good fic with a reasurance that if there is sex, it'll be bottom!ianto. So, because no one do it, i'll do it myself. And since i've read a huge amount of fics, i forgot which is which, so it will be a slow process while i'm rereading my fav fics. I have to be sure 😄

Crumbling

I'm lost of word. Feels like there's no ground beneath my feet. Feels like falling. My stomach is churning. But.. suprisingly, its not as bad as it supposed to be.. maybe its the shock.. or i still can't manage to accept the truth. Whatever it is, i already resigned this heart. Life never goes as planned, why do i keep fighting on it?