sky i miss the old you

hey,
how are you today?
i hope you're ok.
what's the game you play?
can you please stop it right away?
if its my fault please let me pay.
you didn't even let me try.
you just left without goodbye.
do you care if i cry?
if it's a nay just tell me why.
then i'll take out my left eye.
to keep the sadness at bay.
because this eye which cannot lie,
will be better if it doesn't mourn you, sky

(why did you change? what's your game? i don't recognize the new you, i miss the old you)

bleak hope

vain escape mould into the continuity.
leave on the nakedness to seal the misery.
could you pretend that returning darkness reward enough for peace?
that you are not sinking into the anguish?
the perfect dream soon dissolve into a soiled air you're fool enough to breath in.
but still it's haunting in your closed eyes.
ghost to the mind that no longer sane.
makes you crawl when you cannot run.
overwhelms you with the glimmer of the sun.
until you decided to grasp it.
thus begins the vicious circle.

tapping the nose

Some days are simply not the day
When faith begins to fray
When words led you astray
The doom song is at play

suffocated by the present
haunted by the past,
terrified of the future.
Swaying with the steps that always waver.

Because safety is only a myth
And the walls are moving closer.
Racing with the scythe
Yet no exit door for the quitter.

but there's no sense in crying for every lost throne.
Closed heart will not giving back the crown
No mistake in leaving the glory to the untold
Then see that there's always a hand to hold

to stop doesn't mean to freeze.
no reason not to storm in and chase the wind out
No, we're not as big as the great sun.
but we're not as tiny as we think we are.


about 'hope' is justified.
but 'believing' is to survive.
breath.. breath.. the inhales and the exhales are sign that we're alive.
so what do you say?

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milky wayyyne

no use crying over the spilled strawberry milk.. there's still a glass of vanilla milk waiting for you.

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find me 'neath the mask

I love me, but I hate me as a person. Not a good person, I tell you. I don't like to be called evil, but seeing myself makes me change my mind. Someone calls it human; I call it necessary evil. There'll be no saint angel without the devil. And the devil lurks, waiting for the right moment to get into action.

I love masks; I love wearing masks. They are beautiful and useful. I can decorate anything on them: a happy face, sad face, kind face, mysterious face. The mask can cover anything inside.

But beneath the mask, who am I really? Maybe I'm the lurking devil, or maybe the devil is lurking inside me. There's sin in my talk, in my silence, in my walk, in my stop, in my blindness, in my sight, in my ignorance, in my care, in my prosperity, in my poverty. God help me, the dancing fairy won't give me my innocence back.

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Edgar

He left me here to die. After all this time taking care of me, he allowed me to be killed. Someone who's like an older brother to me. My only family. 

It was not an easy choice i know. That woman was our only key to front section and we couldn't afford lose her. I was so sorry to put him in this position. It was my fault I got myself caught. I was too weak. But I thought I was worth more than that. More than a simple causalty of war. I didn't want to die. It shouldn't be my time yet. But even after this, I couldnt even brought myself to hate him.

His eyes had begged me to forgive him before he turned and went to chase that woman. I regretted that he must have seen my betrayed look. I hate to add more sadness to that sky-dark eyes. The responsibility he had to shoulder on was already over-weighting him. So it's ok Curtis, finish our fight with your pretty head held high. I forgive you man. I was honored to have the chance to be your second in command (if I'm being honest, it probably was because I always shamelessly follow you around). And as I said before, you are and will be an amazing leader. Wish me luck getting steak in heaven.

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fun?

having fun together is... well, fun. but it has its downside. We change into a dependent person. And thats ugly. We can't have fun if our buddies are busy. sometimes negative thinking rears its boring head. We become too wary and paranoid. We need them to have fun but we're not sure that they can't have fun without us. We feel lost when we're alone and it's like we can't function by ourselves. Then we can not breath, the first stage of panic attack before an invinsible hand clutching tightly to our heart, and we died of heart attack. ok, that's umm..

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